Rock On Sister: 4 Steps to Boldly Boost Your Confidence

Imagine this scenario: You're in a restaurant seated at the table looking at the door. You notice someone walk in right away. She is GORGEOUS and radiates positive energy, and you are immediately drawn to her. But you don't think to yourself, "rock on, sister!" No, instead, you find yourself judging her and creating a story evoking serious envy! You start an internal conversation with yourself, tearing her down about all of the things that initially drew you to look at her. And then, eventually, you feel like total sh*t, and you leave the restaurant.

What just happened?!! 

Let's play out another scene: The same woman walks into the restaurant. You think this time, "ROCK ON SISTER!!" and you continue about your business smiling and with ease. In only a matter of minutes, you have created a reflection of your confidence. 

You see, the items we judge in others are actually a mirror image of the things we judge within ourselves. The things we desire AND the things we loathe within ourselves show up in others first. THIS is a self-sabotage practice that wears us down and ultimately is tied directly to our own self-confidence and self-worth.

Two scenes and two reactions. Which one do you prefer? 

Creating confidence isn't always easy, but it is a simple concept, or (as we like to call it in the coaching world) a mindset shift! It's changing the internal conversation. It's speaking kindness and bold words of affirmation to thyself. It's not allowing others' opinions to resonate with your inner knowing and inner belief that you are worth SO much more!

Confidence comes from within YOU. Yes, it all starts and ends with you! The woman who walks in draws your attention because she stands firm, KNOWING what things she can share with the world and what things she might lack, but she doesn't allow the things she lacks to lead her forward. She is led by the power and knowledge of what she does have to offer. She speaks kindly to herself, and she shares that vibration with the rest of the world!

And guess what? You can too!

But you first, you have to let go of all the bullsh*t you keep telling yourself (or that someone else told you) that doesn't serve you or your deeper purpose. Let's create a THIRD scenario, where you take the following four steps to boost your confidence.

Step 1. Notice your thoughts

What are you saying to yourself? What are you thinking? If it is negative, then it is likely not true (so STOP IT)! If it is true, then ask yourself, can you change it? Or can you spin the conversation, so it serves you? For example, if you tell yourself, "you are so ugly," do you feel like that serves you? Like it's true? Chances are NO! So, can you change it? Can you create a positive affirmation and embrace positive self-talk? (Hint: yes!!!)